#or at least an extra that looks vaguely like shauna

[whatyourehungryfor]

ok this looks like shauna wearing jackie's sweater in the intro. kill me

[silencedrage]

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? for the yjs

munday meme

i'm only allowing you to ask such a thought-provoking question because it's your birthday and i love you

khalida - hakeem picks up soccer when he's 7 or 8 and finds one of akilah's old soccer balls in the garage. he falls in love with the sport and khalida is wholly convinced that it's akilah guiding him. she always tells him stories about his aunt who loved him so much and ensures that he knows that his love of the sport came from akilah

lottie - while in switzerland and as part of her therapy, lottie sends letters to all of the survivors (at least to their high school addresses) in which she apologizes for her actions in the wilderness. the letters are still pretty cryptic and vague, partially because they can't openly talk about it in case someone else reads it, and partially because the ect has fucked with a lot of her memory. but anyone reading the letter would know that lottie is accepting that she did / led the others down a terrible path and trying to atone for it

van - most of van's clothes at the time of the crash are hand-me-downs from the family that lived in the trailer next door. they were a family of four boys, one older than van, and the rest younger, and sometimes she would go over to help look after the younger ones in exchange for a hot meal while her mom worked late. the mom was always apologetic that she couldn't get van something "prettier" but van honestly preferred it this way. they moved away the summer before the crash and she has no idea where any of them are now

shauna - every morning when she wakes up, shauna keeps her eyes closed for half an extra second, hoping that she will open her eyes in the cabin with another chance to save jackie before she dies, and every morning she is disappointed

tai - tai has two older half-siblings from her dad's first marriage. they're 9 and 12 years older than her, whiter than snow, and lived in massachusetts for most of her childhood so she never really got to know them before the crash, and tai never felt like reaching out after the crash. in her mind, she's basically an only child, and views them sort of like distant cousins that she might see at a family reunion

nat - with the help of her banker friend, nat set up an account in tai's name where she's squirreled away money here and there over the years. only tai has the ability to withdraw the money from the account (done so in this manner so natalie couldn't try and funnel the funds when she inevitably fell off the wagon again). there's not a lot of money in it, not nearly enough to cover all of the money tai has spent on her rehab, but there's a couple thousand dollars that nat's scraped together over the years that she didn't blow on drugs or booze

simone - simone prides herself in not "pushing" tai to talk about the wilderness, but the truth is, she doesn't want to know what happened out there. she is perfectly happy with the image that tai has crafted, and is all too willing to accept the facade, even though she knows she should probably question it a bit more. she tells herself she's just doing the right thing as tai's partner, but part of the attraction was that is was another interesting, but closed chapter of tai's life

[demi-drawing]

popsicles - diodeshipping

word count: 3615

unfortunately i can’t add a link for ao3 because tumblr is dumb and this won’t show up in searches if i do so my ao3 is @demipancake!! it’s on there

i wrote the last two sections of this past midnight last night so idk if they’re any good but ace seemed to think they were so Here We Are i guess

anyways ash and clemont? gay

thanks to @aro-ace-thetic for betaing this for me!!

Clemont sighs as he puts the last cardboard box down in the future living room of his new apartment. He glances around and out the window, gazing at the city view for a few seconds. Bonnie left ten minutes ago to catch up with a friend who lives in the city, and of course she left the heaviest boxes for him to carry. Something about getting in shape? Clemont wasn't really listening.

Finding the apartment hadn't been easy - after all, it had to be close to the college, and given how popular just staying in a dorm was, finding one close was tough. Lumiose City isn't the cheapest place for an apartment, either. They were lucky to find one as close and inexpensive as they did - and even then, it's a twenty minute walk to campus, and wasn't the best quality. Clemont wasn't great at walking - or, running, rather.

Luckily, that's all over now, and all that was left was to unpack.

To… unpack.

He stands in the middle of the room, surrounded by a sea of cardboard. Just moving everything up here was a task and a half - maybe he could just find the sleeping bag he had somewhere in these boxes and order take out.

He's about to do just that when there's a sudden knock at the front door, and he jumps. Clemont picks his way through the maze and opens it.

There's a man standing in the hallway with a bright coloured box tucked under his arm. He has dark, messy hair that doesn't look like it's been brushed in weeks and tan skin, and he's wearing a hat indoors, for some reason. He has tiny lightning bolt marks on both his cheeks, underneath giant chocolate-y eyes which light up when he sees Clemont.

“Hey! You must be the new neighbour, right?” he says, tilting his head to one side in a way that was far too cute for Clemont's heart. “I'm Ash. Ash Ketchum.”

“Cl-Clemont.” The scientist in question desperately wishes his heart would stop beating so loudly - he's sure Ash can hear it.

“Nice to meetcha, Clemont!” Ash grins, showing off pure white teeth. “Can I come in?”

“Well, I, uh… haven't started unpacking yet.”

Ash squints and his nose scrunches up adorably. “Do you have a fridge?”

Clemont blinks. “Uh… yes? Don't all the apartments in this building come with fridges?”

“Well, yeah, but is it working?”

“I think so.”

“Great! Because these popsicles are gonna melt otherwise,” Ash says, holding up the box under his arm so Clemont can read what it is. Sure enough, it's a box of popsicles - three different flavours: pineapple, berry, and… banana.

“Banana flavoured popsicles?” he asks sceptically.

“I like them.”

Fair enough, Clemont thinks, then realises they're still standing out in the hallway and steps aside to let Ash in. He grins and adjusts his hat as he walks in, weaving around the boxes looking for the kitchen.

“So why did you come to my apartment with a box of popsicles, exactly?” Clemont asks, following Ash to the kitchen to find him stuffing the box into the freezer.

“Well, I bought too many popsicles, and I was gonna give them to Shauna, but I've already given her a box this month,” he explains, shutting the freezer with a flourish. “And then I remembered that you were moving in today, so I thought I'd bring them to you!”

“Oh, well, uh… thank… you?” Clemont says, wondering whether he should be grateful for someone dumping their accidental purchase on him.

“You're welcome!” Ash gives a toothy grin, blissfully unaware of Clemont's questioning tone. He claps and rubs his hands together. “So, what box are we gonna start with?”

“What?”

“It's too late to back out of this,” Ash says teasingly, and Clemont can feel his face getting warmer just at the tone. “I'm helping you unpack, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.”

Clemont looks into Ash's eyes and sees he is one hundred percent serious about this, and there really is nothing he can do to stop him.

He sighs. “Okay, well, I guess we should start with… the bed?”

Ash's face lights up, as if he wasn't actually expecting to get this far, and races off to the living room, before poking his head back around the doorframe. “Which box is the bed in?”

Clemont sighs to himself, smiling, and follows.

---

He's been in Lumiose for one and a half months now, and he and Ash have somehow become good friends.

He's gotten over his infatuation for him, too. Really, he has. Yeah, he's cute, but he doesn't have a crush on him or anything.

Seriously.

...Maybe.

In any case, Ash had realised that Clemont had somehow never seen his apartment before. Which is why he was standing outside of it slightly nervously, while loud meowing came from inside.

“Come on, buddy, can't I have one friend over?” drifted Ash's voice through the door. The meowing grew louder, until eventually there was the sound of a door clicking shut, and the mewling was muffled.

The front door swings open to reveal Ash standing there, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, that was my cat.”

Clemont smiles back. “I love cats.”

“He's having a bad day.” Ash glances at the door next to him. Ominous scratching noises come from it, along with the occasional mewl. Ash shakes his head fondly, before gesturing for Clemont to come in.

Ash's apartment is a lot like him, in some ways - there's unorganised clutter everywhere you look, including a few dead houseplants and a Pikachu plush on the coffee table. The couch is red, a few shades lighter than the tone of his cap - or, caps, seeing as Clemont could see at least two strewn about haphazardly in this room alone. There's a few awards for generally doing amazing things for the community (as if he couldn't get any more perfect, Clemont thinks, before hastily wiping that thought from his brain) across the shelves, as well as dog supplies, for some reason.

“Take a seat, make yourself at home!” Ash calls out, heading straight to the kitchen and leaving Clemont alone in the living room. He sits down, and realises there's a photograph lying on the coffee table. It's a picture of Ash and a golden retriever wearing a highlighter yellow vest.

“I got popsicles!” Ash sings, entering back into the living room. Clemont snaps his head up and smiles as he sees Ash holding an already opened popsicle in one hand and a banana one in the other. They're weird, but he's begun to like the taste. Ash hands him his popsicle and plops down on the couch next to him, sucking on his own lolly.

Clemont, struggling to open his, nods to the Pikachu plush. “So, you like Pokémon?”

Ash laughs, accidentally touching his nose with his popsicle and squeaking. “My cat is named Pikachu,” he says sheepishly after he recovers.

“Oh my God, that's adorable.”

“He looks like a Pikachu, I'm telling you!”

“I haven't seen him, I can't say!” Clemont laughs, finally managing to get his banana popsicle open.

“He's very friendly! Just not so trusting of strangers.” Ash gestures to the door, where scratching sounds still emanated. “I can let him out if you like.”

“Oh, that'd be great-” Clemont starts, but Ash is already halfway to the door. He opens it and a golden blur springs out and skids to a halt in front of Clemont. He blinks.

He really does look like a Pikachu.

He's a golden tabby with big brown eyes and stripes zigzagging across his back. He's very fluffy, and his tail almost looks like a feather. He sniffs at Clemont's leg, before jumping up onto the couch to scope him out better. He seems to deem him okay, and rubs his head against Clemont's hand.

“Aw, he likes you!” Ash says, having returned from letting Pikachu out. “I told you he was friendly.”

“I didn't even know you were allowed pets,” Clemont says, stroking Pikachu's back with one hand as he purrs.

“Oh, I pay the extra fee. Pikachu means a lot to me, I don't mind it.”

Pikachu, as if knowing what his owner was talking about, steps forward and leans all the way off the edge of the couch in order to rub his face against Ash's leg. Ash leans down to stroke him, and Clemont feels something in his chest spark at the soft smile he wears on his face.

“You like dogs?” he says after a moment, gesturing to the photo on the table. Ash’s eyes light up.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m a service dog trainer!” He smiles as he picks up the photo. “That’s Kaya, she graduated recently.”

“...Graduated?”

“Yeah, that’s what we call it when a puppy finishes their training.” He smiles, as if remembering something. “One of the other trainers said if she didn’t make it, he’d adopt her himself.”

“I’d adopt her if I had the chance,” Clemont says. Ash laughs, and he feels everything is right with the world.

---

Clemont hasn't exited his apartment in three days, except to go to classes.

He has good reason to though - he has a physics test this week and he doesn't wanna fail. He has enough food to last him a few more days - he has to study or he might not pass, and if he doesn't pass it'll reflect on his overall grade, and then what would he do?

There's a sudden loud knock coming from the front door and Clemont jumps. He glances to his notes on diffraction grating and sighs before getting up to open the door.

As soon as the door opens an inch, Ash is barrelling into the apartment with a box in his hands and determination in his eyes.

“Hey Clemont! I brought friends.”

“What?”

Two girls walk in behind Ash, one of them with short, dirty blonde hair and another with brown in pigtails. He vaguely recognises them and remembers they share one of the bigger apartments above him.

Another girl skips in at the end of the group, and Clemont does a double take. “Bonnie?”

“That’s right!” Bonnie smirks, moving past Clemont to get to the living room. “Ash called me and told me to come over.”

“What? Why? How does he even know you?”

“He’s friends with Max!”

Clemont groans. “Of course he is.”

He follows everyone through to the living room, where they apparently had already made themselves at home. Bonnie already had her feet on the coffee table. Ash comes out of the kitchen without the box, along with five popsicles that Clemont swore weren’t in his freezer before. He hands Clemont, still in shock, a banana one (because of course he does) and gives the others to the girls, keeping one for himself.

“What… is going on?” Clemont asks in a daze, banana popsicle in his hand.

“You haven’t been outside in three days, we’ve come to drag you out,” Ash explains, lifting his pineapple popsicle in Clemont’s direction.

“But… I have a physics test-”

“Doesn’t matter! You’re coming with us. Or at least taking a break.”

Clemont stares at the popsicle in his hand and contemplates kicking them all out and going back to his practice worksheet. Then he sighs and smiles, unwrapping the popsicle and gesturing to the girls he didn’t know. “So… who exactly are you?”

“Oh! Sorry.” The brown haired one laughs around her popsicle. “I’m Shauna!”

“Serena’s my name,” the other says, bowing her head slightly in Clemont’s direction.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Clemont, though you uh, probably knew that already.”

“Alright! Let’s go,” Ash says, dumping his popsicle stick in the bin (how did he eat it so fast?). He pretty much races to the door and swings it open, leaving the rest of the group in the dust. Everyone else laughs and goes to follow him. Clemont takes a last look back at his physics revision, then laughs softly to himself and walks out the front door, locking it behind him.

The entire group except Ash still have their popsicles, though Bonnie’s is almost gone. Serena falls to the back of the group, next to Clemont.

“So… Ash is pretty cool, huh?” she says, and Clemont gets the feeling she’s trying to imply something, but he doesn’t know what.

“Yeah, he’s awesome.” he says warily, wondering what she’s getting at.

She squints at him, and sighs, as if knowing he wasn’t going to get it. “I used to have a crush on him too, y’know.”

He jumps and squeaks in surprise. Ash and Shauna look back at them questioningly and Serena gives them a thumbs up. Clemont can feel his face getting warmer. “I don’t- what? I don’t have a crush on him!” he hisses, trying to not let Ash hear.

“It’s written all over your face. I’m so sorry.” Serena shakes her head slightly and smiles. “He is the worst person to have a crush on.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“He’s oblivious to everything around him unless it’s an animal.” She claps him lightly on the shoulder and starts to move back to walking beside Shauna and Bonnie. “Good luck.”

Clemont looks at the back of her head blankly for a minute. Ash glances back at him. “Hey Clemont, are you okay? Your face is kinda red,” he says, and Clemont shakily smiles at him and nods, unable to speak. He smiles back, and turns around.

Clemont stares at him for a second, then buries his gradually growing more and more red face in his hands.

He absolutely has a crush on Ash Ketchum.

---

Ash bursts into the apartment, and Clemont, having been walking near the door, yelps in surprise and jumps a foot in the air.

“Clemont! Clemont Clemont Clemont-”

“That is not what I gave you that key for!”

“Sorry, but look at these!” Ash shoves a box in Clemont’s face and he takes it and holds it away so he can read it. His face slowly morphs into a mix of disgust and intrigue.

“Peanut butter banana popsicles?”

“Exactly.”

“Wh-” Ash doesn’t wait for Clemont to finish his sentence, instead grabbing his hand and dragging him through to the living room. He’s been holding my hand a lot recently, Clemont realises.

Ash lets go of Clemont’s hand and grabs the box from him. He tosses him one of the popsicles, taking one for himself and throwing the box on the coffee table. He plops down on the couch and tears off the wrapping.

Clemont sits down next to him and unwraps his one, watching as Ash lifts his to his mouth and takes a bite out of it. He immediately makes a face.

“It’s not… bad?” he says, uncertainly. “These flavours should not be cold.”

“Why do you bite into them?” Clemont shakes his head fondly and gives his popsicle an experimental lick. “I like it.”

They eat them in silence and Ash finishes his in under a minute like usual. He taps his finger on his leg a few times before getting up.

“Is this the only reason you came over?” Clemont asks amusedly, and Ash grins sheepishly.

“It was, but do you wanna go do something?”

Clemont tilts his head. “Like what?”

“I dunno, like, go get a milkshake or something.”

“We just had popsicles.”

Ash grins. “Your point?”

Clemont sighs fondly, finishing off his lolly and grabbing the wrappers and Ash's stick to put in the bin. “Okay, let's go.”

Ash blinks. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, sounds fun.”

Ash smiles even wider, and races out the door. Clemont isn't too worried about catching up - Ash doesn't have a car and can't drive, so he won't get very far.

Sure enough, Ash is waiting impatiently next to Clemont's car, and hops in immediately as soon as he unlocks it. Clemont laughs and gets in the driver's side.

“Can we go to Cafe Soleil?” Ash asks.

“What? That's on the other side of the city.”

“Yeah, but they have the best milkshakes.”

Clemont knows this is not a fight he can win, so he drives to Cafe Soleil without complaint.

They tumble into the warm cafe, and Ash orders two milkshakes to go.

(“Clemont, what do you want?”

“Uh… strawberry's fine.”

“One strawberry milkshake please, and uh… do you do banana?”

“I'm sorry, we don't.”

“Chocolate's fine, then.”)

“Clem.” Ash whines when they get out of the shop. “Clem.”

“What?”

“It's almost sunset.”

“...Yeah?”

“Can we go out to the firefly field?” Ash's eyes sparkle, and Clemont doesn't even know what the firefly field is, but he knows they're going there.

“The what?”

“The firefly field! Have you never been there?”

“...No?” Clemont says, wondering if he'll get home tonight or spend eternity in the “firefly field”.

“Come on, you have to go!” Ash exclaims, tugging on Clemont's shirt sleeve.

“Okay, we can go! You're gonna have to give me directions though,” Clemont says, but Ash is already back in the car.

They drive out of the city, sipping on their milkshakes (well, in Ash's case his milkshake was gone before they left the street) and Ash giving directions.

“This is the place!” he says happily, and Clemont stares out the window at a seemingly random cornfield. The sun was setting at this point, and it was getting dark already. Ash jumps out of the car and Clemont follows, slightly bewildered.

“What's up with this… random cornfield?”

“We gotta wait for the sun to go down.” Ash sits on the bonnet of the car and gazes up at the yellow-orange sky. Clemont sits next to him, but can't focus on the sun and keeps catching himself staring at Ash, and the way the sun reflects on his face.

The sun slowly goes down over the horizon as they watch, until it disappears completely. Ash sighs happily, then jumps down off the car and goes to the fence of the cornfield.

“What are you-” Clemont starts, then gasps as Ash hops the fence and fireflies spring up around his feet. “...doing?”

Ash grins at him, the light from the lightning bugs illuminating his face. He runs his hand over the stems and tiny lights spring up from under his fingers.

It's mesmerising.

“Come on, Clem, it's fine!” Ash spins in a circle, lights floating around him and making him look like a god commanding his army of angels.

In the back of his mind, Clemont realises this is trespassing, but he doesn't really care. With some difficulty, he climbs over the fence, and the fireflies respond to his hands as well.

Ash cheers, and suddenly grabs his hand and tugs him through the field. They run along, laughing as bugs fly up behind them, until they eventually collapse in the middle of the stems.

Their laughter slowly dies out and they fall into a comfortable silence. The stars are starting to show now, and Clemont wonders if he'll ever have the energy to get up.

---

Clemont hovers nervously outside Ash's apartment with a brightly coloured box. He keeps going to knock, but then thinking better of it.

Eventually, he manages to do three quick knocks on the door, then immediately panics as he hears Ash's voice on the other side call out “Coming!”

This was a mistake.

He has to wait a bit for Pikachu to be put in the other room, but eventually Ash opens the door and grins when he realises who it is.

“Hey Clem! What's up?”

“Uh, I…” Clemont's having a lot of second thoughts about this idea, and none of them are good. “I have to talk to you about something.”

Ash blinks, face becoming serious, and he seems to notice the box. “Is that… a box of popsicles?”

“Y-yeah, it's, uh… it's just to lighten the mood? I guess?” He laughs awkwardly. “I'm so sorry, this was a bad idea-”

“No, it's okay!” Clemont glances up at Ash. He's looking at him with a weird expression on his face. “Come in, uh, make yourself at home.”

Clemont shuffles into the living room, putting the box on the coffee table, next to the picture of Ash and Kaya that still hasn't been moved. They both sit on the couch, slightly more stiff than normal.

“So, what did you wanna talk to me about?” Ash asks, tilting his head (adorably) slightly.

Clemont can feel his face start to heat up already, and he hasn't even started talking yet. “Okay, well, uh…” He takes a deep breath. “I… like you,” he almost whispers. “I really like you. Like, romantically, I mean,” he adds hastily, knowing how dense Ash could be sometimes. “And I don't- you don't have to pretend to like me back, or anything, and I'm sorry, and I've probably made this more awkward than it has to be, and-”

Clemont is cut off by Ash's lips on top of his.

His brain barely registers the fact Ash is kissing me, before Ash is pulling away, panic in his eyes.

“I'm sorry! I didn't mean- I just-”

Clemont shuts him up by kissing him again, and one hand goes up and tangles in his mess of dark curls. Ash starts kissing back after a moment of shock, hand caressing Clemont's cheek.

Ash tastes like banana popsicles and the off-brand peppermint toothpaste he uses. Like fireflies in a field surrounded by stars, and the cold, cold wind blowing through the stalks.

They break apart and Clemont looks into Ash's widened eyes. He imagines his own expression isn't much better.

“I really like you too,” Ash whispers, and Clemont kisses him again.

[grapsandclaps]

Ladies and Gentleman, my name is not @oggypart3, and I do not have the (greatest) Clap (in the business)...but I am @KingGazOfMadine (I am not Raymond Rowe) and I am here to bring you a round up of show Number 55.5 in #the80ShowYear (Andy's show number 55.5 by the way. I'm only on 34)

PROGRESS Chapter 52: Vote Pies was a show that was originally not on the Wrestling Schedule for us Manchester fans, so 4/5 of British Wrong Style (Andy / Geoff Ogden, Chris Linay and Ben Corrigan) along with top Pigeon Fan Shauna Askew made the decision to book tickets to go and see Tidal Wrestling, across the penines in Leeds (You can read Andy's review of that show right here, at Graps and Claps *cheap pop*) and therefore once the show was announced, had to miss the event.  For me personally, I've never been to a Tidal show or watched any of their shows, and had made the decision to take a weekend off until the PROGRESS announcement, so I was all in for this event. Must admit, it was a bit odd to be at a show without the others. I think of all the shows I've been to this year, only ATTACK in Cardiff I've done without any combination of Andy / Geoff / Shauna / Chris / Ben

Now then, unlike Andy, I did not make an early start for this show to take in some fine ales beforehand. No, my decision was to stay at home and watch Day 5 of the 27th annual G1 tournament in New Japan (should point out here, Tesco had a cracking deal on 6 cans of Dr Pepper for £1.77 which I had picked up the day before, so my choice of drink for the G1 was Dr Pepper coming in at approximately 30p per can. We may be living in Tory Britain, but you can still find a bargain when you try), and then jump on the #GrapsBus at around 1pm for a show thats doors opened at 1.30pm. I arrived in town a little before 2pm and did have time to meet up with t-shirt designer to the stars and future wrestling superstar (HOWAY) Jimmy Nailz at the regular Wetherspoons on Oxford Road. £1.99 for a large Lemonade, and I was good to go and ready for the show, but not before conversations on whether soup should be classed as an actual meal or not, and apparently certain sectors of Mormons aren't allowed hot drinks. Not because of caffeine (which apparently some Mormons are not allowed) but just because of the temperature. So like, they can have a cup of coffee / tea but only after it's cooled down. Please don't take this as fact and quote me on this, but that was what I learned yesterday and have done 0 research into it's validity, but will pass it off as legit if ever needed.

On to the show. Before the regular Darth Vader / Drake intro, we were told over the microphone there would be one last song before this, which was a Linkin Park track, dedicated to Chester Bennington who had unfortunately passed away a few days prior to this. Following this, we got the regular Jim Smallman intro (Hiya - We Sold Out - It's Your Round - 7 matches, 4 in the first half, 3 in the second) but were then introduced to a fan that had apparently made a bet with Jim that the Manchester show wouldn't sell out as quick as usual (Odd bet to make?) and because Jim had lost (Who bets against their own team!?) said fan was allowed in the ring to have his photo taken with Jim (This is an odd bet to make. Just go and ask Jim for a photo before the show starts when he's walking around the ring. He's a nice chap and will more than likely say "Yes") at which point Jim asks said fans girlfriend to come into the ring to take the photo. Jim and fan prepare for photo, fans missus gets camera out...BUT WAIT...the fan is down on one knee and has pulled an engagement ring outta nowhere (Ok, that's why this all seemed so ridiculous...Jim didn't bet against his own company!!!) and he's asked his missus to marry him. She's in a wrestling ring, with 700 of us watching, she literally has no chance of saying No, and thus she says....YES!!!! Cheers aplenty, now get out of the ring and enjoy the first 3 hours of your engagement surrounded by people who want to call Zach Gibson a Scouse Bastard.

Should also note here that the ring looked a bit low, and as we were discussing this, it was pointed out that T-Bone was on the show, and this was in fact T-Bone's ring (more to this later). Plus, pint of Lemonade here at the venue was £3.50. Not sure what kind of Lemonade they have at The Ritz for it to cost an extra £1.51 over Wetherspoons Lemonade, but it didn't taste that much better. That's Tory Britain for you (Cheers Andy)

Now to the wrestling....or is it...? Turns out there are balloons in the ring, and some "Happy Birthday" signs up, and out first is El Ligero, with 2 birthday hats hanging from his horns. Turns out it's Dave Mastiff's birthday, and as he still doesn't have any entrance music (or at least not any that can be shown on the WWE Network, for just £9.99 a month), the Bastard comes out to 700 of us singing Happy Birthday (no trombone this time Andy, sorry about that). Out come their opponents for the night Extra Talent(ed) and the super over, merchandise machines #CCK We get the introductions out of the way, and then it turns out one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads has a birthday card for Mastiff. Jim reads it out as "Dear Dave, Happy Birthday, from Jeff Jarrett and everyone at ITV Wrestling" at which point Mastiff cleans house with German Suplexes aplenty, including German Suplexing Kid Lykos over the top rope into Chris Brookes and the Extra Talent(ed) lads. This 3 way Tag Match included a grand total of 0 tags, and was just all action from start to finish, but included a few botched moments including Lykos pulling down the top rope for one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads to go over, only for him to still fall out of the ring between the top and middle rope, and the same lad receiving the Brookes assisted Code-Breaker, and then not staying in place for Brookes to senton him...but Brookes did it anyway coz he's Chris fuckin Brookes and he can do what he wants. Talking of which, Chris Brookes hit a knee on one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads and a kick on the other, in totally seperate moments, and both of them made me think that Extra Talent(ed) maybe owe him money or something.  The ending happened, not entirely sure what happened, but #CCK won, Roberts called for the bell and said he'd counted 3, the bell never came, Jim's mic was turned off so he couldn't announce the winners, and some people were trying to continue the match. Not sure what was supposed to happen, but #CCK got the win, and then Chris Brookes said they didn't want a win like that, and challenged Extra Talent(ed) to another match next week in Camden. Kid Lykos got the mic and was ready to tell them what he thought, but Brookes took the mic off him and told him to "Shut the fuck up Lykos"

Next up we had Mike Bird vs T-Bone in some big lads wrestling. Big Lads as in guys who actually weigh over the weight limit for the Atlas title and not David Starr or Fred Yehi. Talking of David Starr, question for you. If David Starr wins a match, and neither me or Andy sees this match, did David Starr still win a match? For me, it's a no, and old Canvasback Dave remains winless. Anyway, Bird and Bone started off quite tasty with them getting in each others face during the intros, and then a bit of pushing and shoving until T-Bone gave Bird a lovely looking headbutt. This was standard 2 big lads beating each other up, but the crowd was a bit quiet for it. Most local fans obviously know T-Bone from the likes of FutureShock, PCW and GPW and were getting behind him, and there was the odd Ginger Jesus chant too, but I don't know if it was the awkward finish of the last match, but the crowd weren't too into this one. I even tried to get an Ogden special clap going but that died on it's arse. T-Bone ended up the victor, and personally, I'm hoping we get a T-Bone vs Walter match for the Atlas title at some point. T-Bone did only lose 1 match during the Atlas Division series, and that just happened to be a Semi-Final match unfortunately.

Toni Storm was up next defending the PROGRESS Womens title against Laura Di Matteo. Again, this seemed to start with quite a flat crowd, but we were treated to a decent match that finally woke the crowd up and got everyone going. There was quite some chanting on behalf of Laura Di Matteo, which is quite surprising really. One, becuase Toni Storm is absolutely ace, and two, because Laura Di Matteo is obviosuly very talented in the ring, but post-Jinny feud (is that feud actually over?) there really isn't anything there with Laura Di Matteo to care about, other than the fact she's one of the ones who come up from the ProJo. She just doesn't seem to connect, and I'd happily listen to any of her fans to tell me what it is that makes them get behind her. Cracking match though between these 2, and Toni got the win following her Piledriver she's been using lately.  Laura was visibly in tears outside the ring afterwards, not sure if that's gonna set up a storyline or something with her?

Onto the first half Main Event, which was 2 blokes I've heard of vaguely recently. Travis Banks vs Matthew Riddle.  2 of the absolute best right now, and these 2 did not disappoint. Riddle came out first, cool as fuck as always, and then Trav came out second and he was ready to scrap, getting right in Riddles face before the intros had even begun. These 2 chopped, kicked and suplexed each other like there was no tomorrow. Thought Riddle would still be recovering his chest after what Walter did to him in Birmingham, but nope, there were chops a plenty. I can imagine these 2 having a much better match than the one they put on here, but this was still a really good match and one to look out for on Demand. At one point it was like watching Kane vs Undertaker at Wrestlemania, when Matt Riddle kicked out of a "Tombstone" at 1, grabbed Travis, hit him with a jumping "Tombstone" at which point Trav kicked out at 2. Had to point out here that moves where you get dropped on your head are a lot less effective in 2017 than moves where you have to slap your knee for effect. However, neither Travs or Riddles tombstones actually drop the opponent on their head, therefore making them even less effective. Finish to this match came when Pete Dunne made an appearance on the rampway to distract Trav, and Riddle managed to hit Banks with a jumping knee when he returned his focus to the match, but was at this point out for the count.

Half time break, and due to arriving at the venue late, this was the perfect time to pick up that sweet new #CCK merch. Turns out I could now go 6 of the 7 days of the week wearing a different #CCK / Chris Brookes t-shirt. #CCK literally becoming the UK Young Bucks.

Second half of the show brought us a 4 way match between No Fun Chief Deputy Dunne, Scouse Bastard Zach Gibson, Ben's Favourite Chuck Mambo and Shauna's Number 1 Heel Jack Sexsmith. Match started with introductions for Sexsmith and Mambo, only for Chief Deputy Dunne to take over microphone duties and inform us that as long as we don't have fun, we won't get hurt. Gibson took the microphone from Dunne here though, and did his usual schtick, ending with how he is the Premier Wrestling talent in England, and he's in a match with a surfer, a policeman and an absolute joke. This was a fun 4 way, nothing to really shout about, but still enjoyable. Sexsmith picked up the win with a cheekly roll up on Gibson, meaning Sexsmith has beaten Gibson here and at Super Strong Style now.

Next up was PROGRESS Champion Pete Dunne going against Eddie Dennis, who has got himself some new shorts to go with his full time schedule.  I liked them personally. As for the match, this was an absolute cracker of a match.  The longer it went on, the better it got, and I started to get the impression that maybe Pete Dunne would lose via DQ, therefore having to defend his title agsinst Eddie in a second match. Unfortunately, it did not go this way. Eddie had Pete Dunne pinned for the 3 count following the NEXT STOP DRIVER!!!!! but unfortunately Joel was down at this point and did not make the count. Peter rolled out the ring, and as Eddie followed him got blasted by Peter's Sledgehammer (I thought these were only kept under WWE rings...?) rolled back into the ring, Pedigree and then The Bitter End, for Peter to pick up the win. Talking point here though was Eddie Dennis looking absolutely phenomenal. He's always been good when I've seen him, but having recently gone full time, he's got a lot more serious and looks a lot better for it.

Main Event time gave us British Strong Styles Tyler Bate and Trent Seven defending their PROGRESS Tag Team titles against current IWGP Heavyweight Tag Champions, War Machine (I am in no way related to Raymond Rowe by the way). Following the introductions, Jim declared that he was making this match a Tornado Tag Rules match. If you've never seen War Machine wrestle in PROGRESS before, then you were in for a treat without knowing it, however if you have seen War Machine in PROGRESS before, then you knew this was gonna be awesome...and it was. Match started with War Machine offering the code of honor handshake, BSS doing the Triple H, but turning and spitting it in War Machines eyes and then mockingly shaking their opponents hands, only for War Machine to hold on, and beat the piss out of the 2 of them. This match was everything you'd expect from a War Machine match. Don't think it was as good as the London Riots match from Birmingham a few weeks ago, but still a cracker and up there as Match of the Night for this show. They wrecked the joint throwing their opponents into the ringside chairs, along with being thrown themselves. At one point Tyler Bate and Ray Rowe were wrestling in the crowd right next to us. Tyler hit Rowe, and then proceded to do his best Karate stance and declared himself Bruce Lee. If you want to see the video of this, look up Ian Crompton on Twitter (@iancrompton89) and ask him to share his video. Also, Tyler Bate managed to squat Hanson. Like that shouldn't even be a surprise anymore that Tyler is freakishly strong, but it still is amazing. Now then, earlier I mentioned how the ring in use was T-Bones ring. During this match, I noticed T-Bone up on the balcony watching the match. However, what I also noticed was that when Trent and Tyler did a double Superplex from the top rope to Hanson, Chris Brooker was up there too, putting a hand on T-Bone's shoulder as if to say "It's ok. You're ring survived it. It's going to live another day". BSS got the win in this match, when Trent hit the pedigree on to Hanson (I think) on top of the IWGP tag title. War Machine gave a post match speech about being disappointed they weren't raising the PROGRESS Tag Titles, and how they've wrestled everywhere but we are the craziest fans they've ever known. Standard really.

Post-Show, it was fuckin pissing down and I'd only gone and decided today was a good day to come in just shorts and t-shirt. Headed back over to Wetherspoons with Jimmy Nailz and Dave Hackney (JHFC represent!) to grab some food (Chilli Dog and Lemonade for £6.99, but could also go for an alcoholic beverage instead for £7.99 if that's what you prefer) and talk about the show. As we were finishing up, Matt Riddle casually strolls into Wetherspoons, cool as fuck (as always) and with around 50% of the Wetherspoons audience having all just come from the show, suddenly Wetherspoons broke into "BRO! BRO! BRO!" chants, with Matt Riddle looking absolutely happy as larry, looking around and smiling at everyone, and other customers just not having a clue what was going on. Following this, it was home time on the 38 bus back to Little Hulton, and was back home for 9pm

Apologies that there's no puns in this one. I'm not on Andy's level for this. But I would like to finish by saying it was really nice to go to a wrestling show to see good friends and also some wrestling, without a fuckin toy pigeon in sight.

#grapsandclaps